There was No Time like Then
by The-MisUnderstood-Angel
Summary: He had spent all his time on the past, but now he doesn't even have a future. Memory's flood him as he falls into the abyss of the dead. At the end of the Abyss what will he find, and will he find it fit for his sins?
1. The Goodbye

I sat on the ground. A small trickle of blood ran from the side of my mouth to the base of my chin. My face was pointed to the ground as my eyes were closed out of wiriness. I had finally killed the one who had filled my very soul with hate and darkness. Tho I was happy of this occasion, sadness over took me as well. Seeing as this was to come at a price. Not only was his life taken, but my body retained to much damage for my nano's to heal. There I set. My body with blood poring out of the internal wounds it had taken, and was slowly leading me into death. This was the end.

My mind began to think of the past. Of all the things that led up to this very event. The friends I had gained and the ones I had lost. My mind was really on the late Sister Noel, and Sister Esther. I guess I shouldn't call her that now. She is a Queen of Albion, no longer the sister that I could hug when she was crying over something I said or did. Still one cannot rely on the past. I have learned from the mistakes I've made in the past, and I will not let it happen again. Tho now that I looked at it, I am at deaths gate. I have no other thing to look forward to. The past is all I have right now. Now that I look into the dark abyss of death all I can see are the times I've been with Esther.

All the times I had been in a room alone crying over Lilith. It still haunts me in the dead of night. All the times that I could just set and look into the sunset. I have no more time to think. I have no more time to feel. The abyss is taking over my mind, as one finale tear rolled down my cold cheek. _This is the end...I know she can't hear me but...Esther I love you...Goodbye...I wish...I could...see...you...one more...time..._


	2. The Lost Hope

I stood in the abyss. It's darkness engorged my entire soul, sending a cold chill throughout my body. Well in more factual terms, the body that was not there. I knew I wasn't in the body of flesh and blood but some form of spiritual body. _Is this abyss...Hell? _I thought as I took a step forward. I took another, and another. Small clacks could be heard. They echoed throughout the abyss. Tho when I looked down, my feet had no boots. As a matter of a fact that I had no cloths on. Why I was nude here I didn't have time to think over. A voice ring down. It wasn't female nor man.

_You have died in battle to save the very world. Because of the death of a hero, many are crying. The one's who were friends with him, and the ones that wanted to love him. You, Abel Nightroad, are to face judgment of me. For each good deed a gold crown shall appear next to you, but for each evil I wish not speak. Let it begin._

The voice faded, and a bright light split the abyss in haft. I covered my eyes and waited for it to end. The light did not fade, but voices could be heard.

"_Why...are we always treated like monsters, Lithe?", it was my voice. My eyes opened and there it was. I was on the ARK, and there stood a image of myself. Next to me stood Lithe. Her hand was n my shoulder and she was frowning._

"_Abel, they just don't understand that we are humans just like them. If it weren't for the fact of the nano's in our blood are the only thing that makes us different.", came Lithe's voice. _

"_Then how come were always up here? Never once have I seen what the earth looks like up close. I want to see the city's and the rivers. I want to know what a human looks like with out those things in there body! I want to know what the wind and sun fell like.", I said._

"_I don't know Abel. All I know is that your dreams are very interesting. You have read about them but you wish to see them. Know what it's like. Seems that we have a common goal.", said Lithe. I looked at her and smiled._

The light was gone once again, and the Abyss filled the area. I looked around and frowned. It was the first time I had ever opened up to anyone. I didn't know then that I would be treated like a dog that was just order around later. I inhaled a let out a soft sigh. This memory made a small smile come across my face. I looked down to my feet and there was a small gold crown. I picked it up, and looked around.

_Opening up and letting your dreams past to a loved one is just many of the ways you can be counted as a good person. It is a way to spread love and joy to that person. They see that you have hope and it gives them hope. The hope to push on. Your gave Hope resting into the crown that you hold._

I looked back down at the crown and in small silver letters on the side was the word Hopeful. I felt tears well in my eyes. I know in time I lose most of the hope. I lose it till I meet the young Catrina. Even then I have very little hope. I began to think of how I lose the will to push on. Of how I lost what I wanted. Of how she was the only one to ever hear my joy and happiness. Never once did I tell Esther of how i felt or my dreams. I hurt knowing no one could ever know such joy. I began to wonder of what next...


	3. The Unforgivable Hate

I set down on what seemed to be the floor of the abyss. The crown in my hand, tho made of shining gold and silver, could not repay for the Hope I had lost.

_Let us move to the next judgment shall we?_

Once more the light over came, but I did not cover my eyes. Instead I looked ahead. I wanted to see what image would be brought to my eyes. What image would be brought to me that I had shrived to forget.

There, once more, was the image of myself and only myself. "Those humans really are like that. Always killing never using words to solve there insecurity. They are just upright chimps, and that will be There downfall.", I said as I leaned on a wall of the ARK and look out the window, "The US is the worst of them all. They can all burn in Hell with all there power hungry bastards and nuclear bombs."

Right when thous words escaped my mouth did the alarm go off. I let a sigh escape my lips as I walked to my desk for my gun and leave the room. I was mutter these words as I did, "They can't even fight for themselves..."

Once more the light faded and I was in the abyss.

_Tsk Tsk...So much hate...so much. What happen to the loving child? Did he get so angry at the world that he forgot his dreams? Did he lost sight of what really mattered? That there were others who loved him? Such a hateful filled being. Did he ever feel love for another?_

I looked down to the ground. My eyes were closed trying to hid my tears and my fears. The fact that I was so hateful. The fact that my heart was as black as the very abyss I set in. 

Suddenly the ground began to shake a little. Far away from were I was a flame appeared. It was a dark blue. My eyes went wide as I stared into the flame. It danced gracefully yet I knew better. It could kill. It could not be tamed no matter what. Then it hit me. I was a flame so many years ago. That was me. 


	4. The Lost Love

My tears flowed like a river down my pale cheeks. If there was a wall behind me I would be leaning ageist it. I was a monster. I am a monster. I will always be a monster. 

_Now lets us see what more your past holds that you wished to forget._

Now I wish that god damn blinding light would stop. _Just to pass judgment on me already! _I thought as I opened my teary eyes. Just to watch something that I had forced myself to forget.

Once more the image of myself stood before me. My long hair cascaded down my back and ended at the small of my back. The earth around me had been stained blood red. Yet not a drop lay on me as a smile crossed my sinful face. "Fools the entire race of them. I hope they enjoy burning in hell.", I said as I walked forward. Toward a small cliff the curved down into a small lake. Just moments before Had I been down there with a blood red scythe, ready to kill all who came forth.

I paused and looked down on the lake with indescribable hate. It's water was clear and unmoving. Yet you can tell by looking at it that it was full of unsafe objects. Body's drained of blood, guns, bomb shells, and parts of tanks that lay under the unchanging surface. "A war can change everything, can't it dear brother?", came a voice and the tap of a boot on the cold ground behind me.

I turned to see him. My brother, Cain Kightlord. Or so we were called that then. I gave him a small nod and returned my gaze onto the lake. "Yes it just brings chaos into the world. They only enjoyment I get out of it is the blood.", I said closing my eyes and letting out a sigh.

"It is always the blood for you isn't it dear brother?", asked Cain as he glided himself next to me to look upon the lake. His ice blue eyes looked upon the lake with sadness. Then I felt his his eyes shift to me, and I opened my eyes. I returned the look with a raised brow.

"I just realized that you were with the air squad, and yet your down here with me. Did the fighting get to heated and you couldn't take it?", I asked narrowing my own ice blue eyes. I watched him smile a little and turn heal.

"Dear brother why must you spoil my fun?", I heard him ask as wings appeared behind me. They were pure as a holy light. Unlike mine that were dark as the darkest abyss. We were so different and yet so much the same. 

I felt the wings flap and the air from were he took off and headed for the heavens. I closed my eyes as I felt the cold air make make my hair come into my face. I brought a hand up to my face to remove it and sighed.

The light around me faded and I once more returned to the abyss. My tears had stopped. 

_That shows so many things. Brotherly love, hate, sadness, and envy for your brother. You have already been judged on hate, and it can't be give two strikes. But your envy and sadness have not. They and your brotherly love shall be._

Once more a gold crown with silver writing appeared next to me. This time the silver said "Brotherly" on it. I took it in my hand and looked toward the fire on the far end of were I set. As I did the blue flame, the uncontrollable monster, became bigger and forced itself closer to me. I looked from it and the crown. "Is this some kind of sick game?!", I yelled standing up, "Is this some from of fun to you!? Why are you forcing me to relive this!? It was hell!"

I tossed the gold crown to the gold next to the one that said Hope on it, and awaited an response. Yet somehow I knew I was not going to get one as I listened to my voice echo. Once more I set down. Awaiting what would happen next.


	5. The Blood Filled Nights

I looked into the darkness and sighed. "Whats the point of all this?", I asked the black abyss, "I just want this game to end."

Suddenly the light over took me, and there was no voice, I didn't even look over to see the image of what stood in front of me. I didn't want to relive any of this, yet I was being forced to. All I could hear was electrical shocks and screams of terror.

I knew what it was with out looking.

"Fools! Your power is not enough to face me! Why even try!?", I heard myself yell, "Just give into the Crusniks!"

I heard more screaming and the ripping of flesh. The sound of flesh blood begin to spill on to the cold ground. What was left of the body's dropping to the ground with thuds.

No I didn't need to look to know what was going on. I could hear it all.

"Never! As long we have a reason to fight and blood in out veins we will fight and win!", came a voice of what seemed to be a brave soul or a foolish one, "As long as your kind is on our earth we will fight you! As long as we have this earth and a fighting spirit."

I heard my self letting out a laugh and take steps forward. "So as long as your kind still exist you still fight. Your gonna be more fun to kill, and I can change your blood begin in you veins. How dose on the ground or in someones mouth sound to you?", I heard as a scythe was begin lifted in the air. As soon as the sound of the brave souls flesh came to my ears the image faded.

I was back in the abyss. In darkness yet again. Alone and looking for no cleanser to cleans my own soul as I felt the best, the fire, move closer to me. "My the monster eat this monster hole.", I whispered as I closed my eyes. I balled my hands into fist then back to were the fingers pointed outward. Blood was on my hands. The dark red stain was all over me as I set there.


	6. The Once Lost Tears

I set there and looked out into the distance. I hated it. I hated everything about this. The only good thing is that damn voice left me alone. I didn't have much time to enjoy the peacefulness, for that light took me over yet again. I closed my eyes and let out a sigh. I keep my eyes closed. Until I heard a high pitched scream. Then I opened my eyes almost instantly.

"No please leave me alone.", it was Lillths voice. Then there was a crazed laugh.

"That's it beg! Beg like the tarren helping dog you are!", it was Cain's voice.

"Cain what are you doing!? Please you don't know what your doing!", I could hear her backing away. But Cain kept steeping forward.

"I'm doing the thing I know we all want. Getting rid of the filthy dog!", he yelled, "Now if you don't mind...Crusnik 01 power output 100 percent activate."

There was the sound of papers flying around, books falling off shelves, a glass pitcher full of something falling to the floor, pages of an open book flipping like a rapped wind had just came into the room. "CAIN NO YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR DOING!", you could barely hear her voice.

The sound of wings flapping came, "I know exactly what I'm doing. Filthy dogs should just die.", then there was the sound of flesh ripping and blood splatting. It was quite of several sounds, then foot steps could be heard. AS soon as they stopped a door opened.

"Abel my dear brother. You came just in time.", came Cain's voice as he stood in front of something, "I just got rid of the filthy dog. The one that's been holding us back."

"Cain what the hell did you do?", I heard my voice ask as I stepped forward. Cain turned around with a smile on his face as he held something behind his back. He took two steps forward and pulled it out. There in his hand was her head. Blood was on it and her eyes were open with fear. I head myself fall to the floor as I stated to cry.

"Damn you...", I first muttered to myself, "DAMN YOU!"

The light faded and I looked into the abyss. My eyes full of lost tears. A small crown appeared next to me. For what I wasn't going to look. Tears fell as I just looked out. Just looking out.


	7. The Times Forgotten

_Do you see what happens if you forget your past like that? Everyone you know who dose that will have to face it again at sometime or another. It's never matter who they where or how rich they are. They to will be set into the same set of judgment as you._

I sighed as the voice filled my ears. "Just show me what you want to show me......", i whispered. I just wanted this to end, but I knew that my line of memory's would be long. Longer then the bible itself.

_Please tell me what you think or yourself? Do you really believe yourself to still be that demon?_

"Yes...........I am still a monster. I will always be one."

The light took me over and this time was no where near the ARK or in the middle of a endless war, but a court yard. Roses where everywhere, and a small fountain stood in the center. "Come on Father Nightroad!", it was Esther voice.

"Yes, yes I'm coming!", I heard my voice yell. She had stopped next to the fountain and had sat down as I had come around the corner. I watched as I wiped the sweat from my forehead and panted before smiling up at her.

"Old man.", Esther teased.

"Old man! How could you say that!? I'm not a day over one thousand!", I said chuckling lightly. I loved it when she'd do that. It just gave me all the reason to tease her back.

"Right...", she said rolling her eyes lightly, ".......just set down will you."

I watched as I gladly took the set next to her and smiled down at her. That is before I had leaned back to far and ended up falling into the cold water. I had reached my hand out to hers dragging her with me. A load splash was heard and laughing coming from both of us. Thats when the light faded and the abyss over came me. I felt it's cold darkness take me over again.

_That didn't remind me of a monster, i remind me of a friend that she'd never had. Someone she needed all along. It is what I call your friendship, one that may never be broken._

I smiled lightly as a crown appeared in my had. The letter held friendship like the voice had said. "I was hopeing it was more.......", I whispered with a sigh.

_Fate has a funny way of change those things........_

It was all the voice said this time as I keep thinking of Esther and how we would be together all the time. Thinking that just maybe, I could have become her king. Then it came to me, a monster as the King of Albion, it would have never happened. I knew she would have found some price, like Ion, and they would have ruled together. They would have kids together, and he knew she would incest on naming one after me. I sighed at my thoughts, wishing it could be me. Just once be me. 


	8. The Wish for Hell

Only one word could describe how I felt right then, bliss. It was either the darkness that had cover my very body itself, or the cold heat coming from the flames. My smile still was plaster onto my face, but I knew under it all I was still a black hearted, cold blood monster. No amount of good deeds and happiness could change that. Just like that fact that I knew that even if I didn't die, Esther would still never love me. She has seen what I can do, and remembers well the fear that had overwhelmed her very being. In retrospect, nothing would have change even if I did survive Cain's last attempt, and triumph, to take me to Hell with him. I closed my eyes hopeing that we wouldn't fight after I got there, that just maybe we could settle our fights with words. Then it came to me, that he might be himself again, before his nano's drove him insane.

The light came again, and it disrupted my thought's entirely. No voices where around me but I did hear something. It sound like silent crying. I tried to just think it wasn't there, that is, till I heard her voice. "Oh, Abel...........", it was Esther. I felt my eyes fly open as I saw what was happing. It was the battle ground, the last thing I saw. I saw that my face was cover in my own blood, a large puddle blood on the ground. Then I saw it, my eyes where still wide open. My eyes gray, like my very feelings and meaning had been drained from my body. As if it where just an empty vessel.

"Oh, Abel........please......you can't be dead......no, you can't.", her tears where mixing with my blood, "Abel......"

Asta stood behind her, she was fighting her tears, but I could tell she was losing. "Damn it.........you pumpkin head........you weren't suppose to die. You where suppose to die on me.", she whispered between deep breath. Then I saw it, William and Cardinal Caterina where also standing there. William was holding Caterina in his arms as she sobbed ,his own tears falling down his cheeks. He whispered something I couldn't quite hear, and leaned over to my body, slowly closing my eyes. That's when I lost it, I cried. It hurt me even more to see them crying over me, but even worse, to see Esther in such pain. To see her in pain over a monster like me. Even after death.

The light didn't come back around me, so I stood and walked over to where they stood. I placed a hand on Esther tiny shoulder and leaned down to he ear. "Don't cry over me........", I whispered, "......I'm a monster, I don't deserve your tears."

After that I was taken back to the darkness. I didn't care anymore. I just wanted this to end. End my life, end my pain, end my suffering, just end it all. "Please.........just end this.....I can't watch more of this. Just send me to hell and get it over with.", I whispered thought my tears, "Please."


End file.
